Tuesday, January 18, 2005
God hates vegetarians.
You don't believe in God? Well, me neither, but he still hates vegetarians.
Once upon a time there were these two brothers, Cain and Abel. Abel raised sheep. Cain was a farmer. They had a barbeque for God. Abel brought lambchops and Cain brought the potato salad. Cain didn't even cut up the potatoes himself. The potato salad came from Dillons and it wasn't even name brand. No, the cheap-ass slothful Cain offered FMV unto the Lord.(For Maximum Value)
Obviously, "the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell."
Later, because he was jealous, Cain killed Abel. God was pissed. Cain pled insanity. He wasn't in control of his actions because of the amount of wroth that he was going through at that point in his life. God felt sorry for him and didn't go for the death penalty on this one. It also may have had something to do with the fact that there were only three people on earth at this point. Anyways, God sent Cain to timeout in the land of Nod, east of Eden....fooreeevaaar. (insert sandlot imitation)
You don't believe in God? Well, me neither, but he still hates vegetarians.
Once upon a time there were these two brothers, Cain and Abel. Abel raised sheep. Cain was a farmer. They had a barbeque for God. Abel brought lambchops and Cain brought the potato salad. Cain didn't even cut up the potatoes himself. The potato salad came from Dillons and it wasn't even name brand. No, the cheap-ass slothful Cain offered FMV unto the Lord.(For Maximum Value)
Obviously, "the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell."
Later, because he was jealous, Cain killed Abel. God was pissed. Cain pled insanity. He wasn't in control of his actions because of the amount of wroth that he was going through at that point in his life. God felt sorry for him and didn't go for the death penalty on this one. It also may have had something to do with the fact that there were only three people on earth at this point. Anyways, God sent Cain to timeout in the land of Nod, east of Eden....fooreeevaaar. (insert sandlot imitation)
